I have too much junk in my trunk...and I'm not talking the good kind J Lo gets paid the big bucks for!! I'm talking actual junk; knick-knacks; brickabrack; chatchkis - CRAP!! Over the years I have managed to accumulate enough stuff to pack a small house to the gills. I'm not ready for hoarders or anything, but I am ready to clean out. A couple of months ago I decided to have a yard sale. I got some family together who also has too much stuff and we picked a date.
At first I was going great guns to get rid of anything that wasn't nailed down. I had boxes in the attic, basement and anywhere my kids couldn't get into them to destroy all my hard work. I tossed old treasures, new junky toys and things that were simply collecting dust. If I wasn't sure, in the box it went. I was doing well. I went through my storage totes of holiday decorations and tossed Easter baskets, cheap Christmas decorations and old Valentine's decorations I bought in college. The project was going well.
Preparation for the big sale was long and tedious. We even managed to get out new coffee table set in time to sell the old one. I sorted through all my old treasures the night before and was sure I was prepared. I knew the early birds would probably be there at 8 am - a whole hour before the sale was set to start. But I would be ready. I planned to be outside setting up before 6am - plenty of time to be ready for the vultures...or so I thought!!!
Why don't I ever learn? Every time I think I'm fully prepared, that's when all hell breaks loose.
The day started promptly at 5:15. I woke groggy, but ready. By 6:45 I hefted all the heavy boxes out on my front lawn. The poor dewy grass had no idea what it was in for. I managed to only break one glass candle stick...not bad for a klutz! Things were going well enough I figured a donut break was well earned. The morning was early and surely no one would be so brazen to show up before 8am...wrong again. I barely returned to my front yard makeshift store before the vultures arrived. 7:45...a full hour and fifteen minutes before the advertised start of the sale my first obnoxious customer arrived. I was stilled furiously hanging clothes on the line my husband installed for me when a middle aged blond woman pulled up.
Thinking nothing of the fact she was too early she walked right up to inspect my wares. After a quick look she promptly informed my husband that his choice to quickly remove a low hanging branch was poorly timed...who asked her anyway?? She then took herself across the street where she informed my mother in law that her prices were too high. Turns out she was looking for things to buy and resell at her yard sale. She complained that she wouldn't be able to turn a profit herself. Oh, I'm sorry!! What were we thinking???
The day continued in pretty much the same tone. I was offered $1 for a party dress. Are you kidding me?? I modestly priced a brand new pair of Osh Kosh toddler overalls at $3. The MSRP on the tag still attached was $28. I was offered $1...are you kidding me?? When I stuck to my $3 guns the woman looked at me like I asked for a kidney. Another man offered me $3 for an MP3 player that I priced at $5. When I went down to $4 it was too high...because that extra dollar would break him!! Full suits priced at $8 were apparently too rich for my customers' blood. I never even got anyone to look at a 2 cup coffee maker. That just made a guest appearance from the basement for fun! A woman offered 25 cents for a brand new Coach wallet. That could have been the all time low. After 6 hours of nickel and diming I had enough. It was like people expected me to pay them to take my stuff. Maybe my neighbors had the right idea...they were looking to get rid of furniture, so they marked it free and sat down to read a book. In the end, all their stuff moved while I was tasked with bringing most of my junk back in the house.
In the end, all my hard work resulted in just enough money to buy dinner...after the exhausting day I was in no shape to cook and clean!! Now I have just enough time to get more junk together before we do it again in the fall. I told you I never learn!
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