I have too much junk in my trunk...and I'm not talking the good kind J Lo gets paid the big bucks for!! I'm talking actual junk; knick-knacks; brickabrack; chatchkis - CRAP!! Over the years I have managed to accumulate enough stuff to pack a small house to the gills. I'm not ready for hoarders or anything, but I am ready to clean out. A couple of months ago I decided to have a yard sale. I got some family together who also has too much stuff and we picked a date.
At first I was going great guns to get rid of anything that wasn't nailed down. I had boxes in the attic, basement and anywhere my kids couldn't get into them to destroy all my hard work. I tossed old treasures, new junky toys and things that were simply collecting dust. If I wasn't sure, in the box it went. I was doing well. I went through my storage totes of holiday decorations and tossed Easter baskets, cheap Christmas decorations and old Valentine's decorations I bought in college. The project was going well.
Preparation for the big sale was long and tedious. We even managed to get out new coffee table set in time to sell the old one. I sorted through all my old treasures the night before and was sure I was prepared. I knew the early birds would probably be there at 8 am - a whole hour before the sale was set to start. But I would be ready. I planned to be outside setting up before 6am - plenty of time to be ready for the vultures...or so I thought!!!
Why don't I ever learn? Every time I think I'm fully prepared, that's when all hell breaks loose.
The day started promptly at 5:15. I woke groggy, but ready. By 6:45 I hefted all the heavy boxes out on my front lawn. The poor dewy grass had no idea what it was in for. I managed to only break one glass candle stick...not bad for a klutz! Things were going well enough I figured a donut break was well earned. The morning was early and surely no one would be so brazen to show up before 8am...wrong again. I barely returned to my front yard makeshift store before the vultures arrived. 7:45...a full hour and fifteen minutes before the advertised start of the sale my first obnoxious customer arrived. I was stilled furiously hanging clothes on the line my husband installed for me when a middle aged blond woman pulled up.
Thinking nothing of the fact she was too early she walked right up to inspect my wares. After a quick look she promptly informed my husband that his choice to quickly remove a low hanging branch was poorly timed...who asked her anyway?? She then took herself across the street where she informed my mother in law that her prices were too high. Turns out she was looking for things to buy and resell at her yard sale. She complained that she wouldn't be able to turn a profit herself. Oh, I'm sorry!! What were we thinking???
The day continued in pretty much the same tone. I was offered $1 for a party dress. Are you kidding me?? I modestly priced a brand new pair of Osh Kosh toddler overalls at $3. The MSRP on the tag still attached was $28. I was offered $1...are you kidding me?? When I stuck to my $3 guns the woman looked at me like I asked for a kidney. Another man offered me $3 for an MP3 player that I priced at $5. When I went down to $4 it was too high...because that extra dollar would break him!! Full suits priced at $8 were apparently too rich for my customers' blood. I never even got anyone to look at a 2 cup coffee maker. That just made a guest appearance from the basement for fun! A woman offered 25 cents for a brand new Coach wallet. That could have been the all time low. After 6 hours of nickel and diming I had enough. It was like people expected me to pay them to take my stuff. Maybe my neighbors had the right idea...they were looking to get rid of furniture, so they marked it free and sat down to read a book. In the end, all their stuff moved while I was tasked with bringing most of my junk back in the house.
In the end, all my hard work resulted in just enough money to buy dinner...after the exhausting day I was in no shape to cook and clean!! Now I have just enough time to get more junk together before we do it again in the fall. I told you I never learn!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Status Symbol
There are many things in this life I find annoying - slow drivers, inefficiency, and uncomfortable bras are just a few. But lately something that has shot to the top of the list are the people who must update their Facebook status every four seconds with what they are doing. In particular the stay-at-home-moms who seem to chronicle every move their child makes. "Oh Little Johnny ate 2 bites of scrambled eggs and had a sip of Juice." "Oh, Little Suzy just had a 52 minute nap." Gee thanks. I'm so glad I get to read about every little poop your poopsie takes.
OK, I know this sounds bitter, but I have good reason. I am a working mom. Now before you stay-at-home-moms get all "I work too!!" on me let me just say I understand. I know just how hard moms work. Remember I'm a mom too. I just get to serve another master during the daylight hours. And to add to it, I have to leave my babies to do it. I get the joy of leaving sometimes crying babies to go off and earn a paycheck.
To be fair, those who know me would say I have it pretty good. My office is at home and I can tweak my hours somewhat around my kids. But that does not negate the fact I'm not the only one raising my children. That is a pain that no amount of money could ever alleviate. Then, to top it off by people who have nothing better to do that status update or worse those who couldn't care less about their kids makes me crazy.
Who are these people who can up and leave their kids to go on vacation?? I can actually say I know someone who left their 10 week old baby to go on a booze filled convention weekend. You would have had to pry my baby out of my cold dead hands before I did that...again I know judgemental, but maybe some people need a wake up call. Perhaps we've allowed our priorities to go askew...tending to smart phones and not sweet babies.
Oh well, guess it's time for summer and all the moms who complain their kids are driving them nuts!! Can't wait!
OK, I know this sounds bitter, but I have good reason. I am a working mom. Now before you stay-at-home-moms get all "I work too!!" on me let me just say I understand. I know just how hard moms work. Remember I'm a mom too. I just get to serve another master during the daylight hours. And to add to it, I have to leave my babies to do it. I get the joy of leaving sometimes crying babies to go off and earn a paycheck.
To be fair, those who know me would say I have it pretty good. My office is at home and I can tweak my hours somewhat around my kids. But that does not negate the fact I'm not the only one raising my children. That is a pain that no amount of money could ever alleviate. Then, to top it off by people who have nothing better to do that status update or worse those who couldn't care less about their kids makes me crazy.
Who are these people who can up and leave their kids to go on vacation?? I can actually say I know someone who left their 10 week old baby to go on a booze filled convention weekend. You would have had to pry my baby out of my cold dead hands before I did that...again I know judgemental, but maybe some people need a wake up call. Perhaps we've allowed our priorities to go askew...tending to smart phones and not sweet babies.
Oh well, guess it's time for summer and all the moms who complain their kids are driving them nuts!! Can't wait!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Magazine Malfunctions
I don't remember exactly when I started my subscription to Parenting magazine. I think it was sometime after my first child was born - a neighborhood kid was selling subscriptions as a school fundraiser. Wanting to do all I could to be a good mom I figured a whole magazine dedicated to the subject would be a perfect addition to our household. Each month since then the magazine is delivered to our mailbox by our chain smoking mailman...ironic isn't it.
In the beginning I looked forward to its arrival. I anxiously awaited the new tidbits of information it would share with me. Being a working mother, the only time I had to read it was in the bathroom, so it also come to symbolize my one well deserved bathroom break a day. I always started from page one and read straight through. Surely each article was worth my attention and of course the editors had put so much thought into its production that the least I could do was give it my full attention.
As time went on, I gradually I became a little skeptical of some of the article. Suggesting my one year would devour wheat germ and guava juice if I offered it caused me to raise an eyebrow...wheat germ?? I don't think so. Then there was the article about summer travel that came complete with a picture of a child bent over the front seat of a station wagon. Not only were her legs wide open, but they chose to put her in a bathing suit that looked like underwear. Really?? This is the best picture we could find for this article?? Then there was an article that suggests daily walks in the woods? Hay editors...ever hear of ticks and nap schedules?? Come on, we mom's do our best, but suggesting a Survivorman mentality is a bit much if you ask me.
Now that I am more confident in my parenting (or maybe just too tired to wonder) I can say I look more discerningly at the magazine. My latest chuckle between the periodical's covers was an article on fevers. The article made sense to me...most fevers do not need medicine. The body needs time to work naturally. A natural approach usually sits well with me. The part that did not was the perfectly made up model who was playing the mother. She is probably all of 22 with perfect makeup complete with smokey eyes that would make Angelina Jolie jealous. Her lips have that "I just retouched my lip gloss" look that Paris Hilton made famous. Her hair is perfectly colored in a rich brown that every brunette yearns for styled into long loose curls. (I think it even had some shimmer to it!) To top it all off, her nails are perfectly manicure because every mother has time to do those nails while they are caring for a sick child!! Come on Parenting really?? It's not enough that like most mothers I spend 23 hours a day worrying that I'm doing the best job I can. Now I have to look at Little Miss Perfectly Made up Mother while I try to glean more knowledge from your magazine. No wonder the average mother of toddlers just let themselves go without makeup and cut their hair into the standard man's haircut. How can we compete so why bother!?!?
I understand the magazine does not want to use old Mother Hubbard as their model, but do we really need to look at the cover model from last months Cosmopolitan while we are dealing with hormonal imbalances and anxiety about raising our children? I'm just saying give us a break...after all poop and puke are enough to deal with on precious little sleep.
In the beginning I looked forward to its arrival. I anxiously awaited the new tidbits of information it would share with me. Being a working mother, the only time I had to read it was in the bathroom, so it also come to symbolize my one well deserved bathroom break a day. I always started from page one and read straight through. Surely each article was worth my attention and of course the editors had put so much thought into its production that the least I could do was give it my full attention.
As time went on, I gradually I became a little skeptical of some of the article. Suggesting my one year would devour wheat germ and guava juice if I offered it caused me to raise an eyebrow...wheat germ?? I don't think so. Then there was the article about summer travel that came complete with a picture of a child bent over the front seat of a station wagon. Not only were her legs wide open, but they chose to put her in a bathing suit that looked like underwear. Really?? This is the best picture we could find for this article?? Then there was an article that suggests daily walks in the woods? Hay editors...ever hear of ticks and nap schedules?? Come on, we mom's do our best, but suggesting a Survivorman mentality is a bit much if you ask me.
Now that I am more confident in my parenting (or maybe just too tired to wonder) I can say I look more discerningly at the magazine. My latest chuckle between the periodical's covers was an article on fevers. The article made sense to me...most fevers do not need medicine. The body needs time to work naturally. A natural approach usually sits well with me. The part that did not was the perfectly made up model who was playing the mother. She is probably all of 22 with perfect makeup complete with smokey eyes that would make Angelina Jolie jealous. Her lips have that "I just retouched my lip gloss" look that Paris Hilton made famous. Her hair is perfectly colored in a rich brown that every brunette yearns for styled into long loose curls. (I think it even had some shimmer to it!) To top it all off, her nails are perfectly manicure because every mother has time to do those nails while they are caring for a sick child!! Come on Parenting really?? It's not enough that like most mothers I spend 23 hours a day worrying that I'm doing the best job I can. Now I have to look at Little Miss Perfectly Made up Mother while I try to glean more knowledge from your magazine. No wonder the average mother of toddlers just let themselves go without makeup and cut their hair into the standard man's haircut. How can we compete so why bother!?!?
I understand the magazine does not want to use old Mother Hubbard as their model, but do we really need to look at the cover model from last months Cosmopolitan while we are dealing with hormonal imbalances and anxiety about raising our children? I'm just saying give us a break...after all poop and puke are enough to deal with on precious little sleep.
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