Blood and Brothers

The Five Fighting Sullivans - it's a movie my brothers and I know very well. For those unfamiliar with with it, it's a story based on the lives of the five Sullivan brothers. They were five boys who grew up together, got in fights as kids together, became men together, and eventually went off to war and died together. They were men who believed blood was thicker than water and family meant everything. It's a Hollywood production based on a true family and true events. I'm quite sure 60 years after World War II most people never heard of the movie.

But, my brothers and I are very familiar with the story because my parents used it as a teaching device during our childhood.

From time to time when we fought as kids, my mother forced us in front of our living room television. She would pop in the VHS cassette carefully labeled The Five Fighting Sullivans. I think it was her way of cooling us down while we learned a very valuable lesson. The lesson was to put family first no matter what. It is a lesson we all took to heart and keep with us to this day. A lesson I like to think my family bases their values upon. I can say this with absolute certainty because I've seen it many times in my life.

I was a gawky child - overweight and certainly not popular amongst my peers. In fact I made a habit of sticking up for others being picked on - a habit that would determine the course of my school years and eventually my life. I got by in elementary school with some other unpopular kids and was happy to call them my friends. Oh sure, it would have been nice to be popular, but I guess I knew deep down it was better to be nice.

At home my brothers tolerated me. Don't get me wrong, I knew they loved me, but I wasn't their ideal playmate. I could be whiny, bossy and tattle if I didn't get my way. They just simply preferred to be on their own. Looking back I understand it much better. For as much as the groaned at having to put up with me - they fiercely protected me. (I was the baby and the only girl.)

I remember a time when I saw them put their love for me ahead of themselves. I can still clearly remember coming home on a hot spring day after a fellow classmate spit on me as I rode my bike after school. I was devastated and humiliated not to mention completely disgusted. Some rotten boy had actually spit on me. I peddled as fast as I could home so I could wash the spit out of my hair. I didn't make it two steps into the house when I ran into my eldest brother. He was a senior in high school - 6 years older than me. At the time he was probably 140 pounds of angry muscle. He wasn't the biggest guy around but his attitude and presence was enough to make him larger than life. Even then, there was little doubt in my mind that he wasn't to be messed with without consequence. I sobbed in his arms as I recalled the events that just happened. I told him about the dumb boys that teased and taunted my friend and me. I was so humiliated as I confessed that one boy even spit on me. I'm not sure I ever completed the story. A fire grew in his eyes as he waited just long enough to hear where he could find these boys before he left.

I'm pretty sure he had a hockey stick in his hand as he rallied my two other brothers. They didn't ask any questions - they were summoned to duty by the eldest and would take care of the job at hand. Although my brothers could squabble amongst themselves like cats and dogs, they didn't hesitate to unite against a common enemy. They went off shoulder to shoulder to restore their little sister's honor. No one had to ask them to go. By now it was instinct to protect one another.

To this day I don't know what happened for sure. When my brothers came home they turned their attention back to me. Their actions were not for bragging rights or for a story to tell. They did what they had to do to stick up for one of their own. My brothers were not wild boys looking for a fight. They were young men who knew what it meant to be from a family. The next day at school, I received an apology. The boy didn't look mangled but he never messed with me again.

I knew from then on what our parents meant every time they put on that old VHS tape of The Five Fighting Sullivans. I knew the lesson they wanted us to learn. Friends come and go, but family is forever. No matter where you go in life, you'll always have your family. It's a lesson I'm desperate for my kids to learn. A lesson far too few understand. It breaks my heart every time I see people sell out their siblings. I'll never understand it and I pray every night that my kids get it. They have been given a wonderful gift in each other and I hope they always hold on tight no matter what life may bring.

My brothers are my oldest friends, closest confidants, and the people I will always be grateful to know. I'm very blessed to have them in my life.